I've lived in the shadows far too long. I've been roaming these streets, finding places to sleep, and looking for food all on my own. I ran away from my home in North Carolina, and I traveled to New York where I thought I would be safe. A lot of people live up here, I really thought I'd be safe. But I can just sense the danger continuously trickling up my spine with every move I make, with every glance and careful precaution I take. I just wanna live free and feel as if all I need in life is my school, my friends and my family. But all of that has been taken from me. Nowadays, I'm always on the run from people who want my "special ability". I say, they can have it because I don't want it, but I can't give myself up like that. Then that would mean giving up my life for the microscope, and no human being alive would ever want that. So the only choice I have is to just live under my own shadow, keep hidden what is required to remain hidden. Find the right place to be, so maybe then will they stop hunting me down like I'm some dangerous animal. But I know that's impossible. I can just sense them looking right over my shoulders. I can feel their eyes, like they're watching me. I don't know how or where, but I know they're coming for me.
I used to tell myself that I was born with an internal birth defect. But honestly, I don't know what it is. Somehow, I can read others' minds, I can feel what they feel. The control of what my mind does isn't under my own willpower, so if it senses someones pain, I feel the exact same pain. If it senses someones laughter, I laugh too. And when I read peoples' minds, I can hear their thoughts and what they're thinking. Strange thing is, my mind digs deeper, glides past all surface thoughts and penetrates into the deeper thoughts. Occasionally, my mind will let me stop at the surface, but normally, secrets aren't anything to me. Secrets don't exist, they can't exist in my world because I can feel and listen to everyones' deepest feelings whenever I want to, and I can't control it. I don't normally talk to anyone because usually I feel sad or depressed all the time. Not because that's actually what I'm feeling, but because that's what someone else is feeling and it overwhelms me. Rarely do I ever feel any happiness, but when I do, I cherish every moment of it. This is my ability and I hate it. Preferably, my curse. I despise it so much, but I can't do anything to get rid of it. My parents have brought me to a special doctor for this kind of "disease" before, but the doctor just told me that it was a gift to have and you should use it for wiser choices and that it cannot be taken away from me for it has chosen me. But that's stupid. I just wanna be a normal person, not have anyone chasing me, not have anyone missing me. I know my family and friends miss me back at home, but I just couldn't take the reality of people wanting to take me away from them. I'd rather be on my own then give myself up to any kind of people that want to just use me and abuse my "gift". I would never let anyone have that kind of power over me.
The night I left North Carolina, it was 12:00 midnight and I was just thinking to myself. My whole family was asleep and I was sitting up on my bed just waiting for headlights to show up at my window with people attempting to kidnap me. I had a visual picture of it in my mind, but I caught myself. Why should I wait for some douche bag of a supernatural "scientist" to kidnap me. I should just run. Don't wait for them, don't look back and don't turn back. Why don't I just let myself free, I said to myself. So it was 12:10 am, I unlatched my window and I ran. It took everything I had to just look forward and go, not turning back once. Even though the tears began sliding down my face, I couldn't go back. There was honestly no purpose of just staying there, so I took all of my money that I would need, my cellphone, a bookbag with shoes and some extra clothes, and a picture of my family. And that's all I carried with me, and that's all I have with me right now. My family includes my mom Lori, my dad Joel, my sister Charlotte, my brother Jonathan and of course me, Raleigh Moretti. Yes, I was named after North Carolina's capitol, and I kind of like it. I mostly go by Raye though, because that's what Jonathan called me when we were younger and still calls me now. I knew that I would miss them and this picture is the only thing I have left of them. It's been 3 months since I left and I haven't had any contact with them. They know why I haven't contacted them, because they know it's dangerous for me and for them., and that's why they haven't tried to contact me either. The house is bugged, and they know it is. It isn't safe for them to keep living there, but they have no choice. Even if they moved, the danger would follow along with them. I trust that my dad and my brother will keep my mom and younger sister safe. I know my sister is tough, but I know how she is. She can easily breakdown and worry way too much, that's why I'm glad my brother is there with her. He's really strong and I know he will make a great leader one day. He makes sure the family's in tact with everything that's happening. I'm just upset that I had to leave them, that I left them there with people tracking them and their every move. But it's safer for me and for them this way. It's safer that I'm far away from them. I don't want to put anyone in any kind of danger, I promise not to put anyone in any kind of danger, that would just bitterly tear me apart. I can't put them in danger, I just can't and I promise that I won't. But then, my phone rings and I break all of my promises.
October 25, 2010
October 26, 2010
October 27, 2010
2. Reason Why I Need to be the Hero
All contacts in my phone have been erased, so when I saw the 919 area code for the first time in 3 months, all my organs and muscles froze. They haven't tried to call me in months, but here they are now, calling. Does this mean something's wrong? Because they would never call me except for if it was an emergency. Should I answer the call? Should I risk the danger behind it? I asked myself all of these questions, but soon enough, I found myself pressing the phone against my ear not caring what risks I've just taken, "Hello?" I nearly whispered. At first I didn't hear anything but muffling and small chattering. But finally, I heard my sister's voice, "Raye? Are you there?" Charlotte stuttered.
"I'm here Charlotte, I'm here," I said smiling, not yet realizing the slight terror in her voice. I was just happy that I was actually talking to someone, to her. My heart lifted, but then she said,
"Raye, I'm sorry Raye," she said, her voice shaky. Different things raced through my mind and I didn't know which was worse, that my sister was sounded terrified because of something that happened or that I might have just put my family in even more danger.
"Hey, hey what's wrong, what happened? Charlotte?" I said immediately worried.
"Raye, they've got mom and dad," she said as if she was almost crying. My eyes widened and my heart raced faster. I face felt blank and I just couldn't comprehend my feelings.
"What? No that can't be. That can't happen! Why Charlotte, what happened? What happened!" My voice was terrified and angry at the same time, I couldn't even fully understand the words I spoke. I didn't know what to think. They have my parents! Why did they take them, what was their purpose?
"Raye, I'm sorry. I tried to help them but I just couldn't. They came knocking at our door one day. They said that they needed you immediately for close examination, and dad, dad got angry, and---"
"Jonathan," my thoughts suddenly raced to my brother, "Charlotte where's Jonathan? Is he OK?" I asked before she could even finish her explanation.
"Yeah, he's fine. He's here with me. We had to run, Raye. Or else they would've taken us also, but we couldn't let that happen. We need to find you, Raye. We have to save mom and dad."
'We have to save mom and dad.' Her voice echoed in my mind, as if I was reading hers also. My heart hurt just thinking about it. 'We have to save mom and dad. We have to save mom and dad.' I forgot I was still on the line with Charlotte, when she said, "Raye? Are you still there? Raye, hello?" Her voice sounding a bit frantic.
"I'm sorry, I'm just---yeah, Charlotte, we'll save them, and I'll make sure of it. Where are you guys?: I asked.
"We're actually on a subway. We were gonna try to find you, where are you?" she asked, literally sounding as if she were about to cry.
"Char, are you all right? No, please don't cry, please---" Then that's when I heard a man's voice in the background. He said something and Charlotte whimpered and I could just feel the tears rolling down her eyes. I realized this was a trick. They had Charlotte and my parents and they were using them to get to me. That thought lingered in my mind, and I couldn't release of it. 'Using them to get to me.' It's all my fault. The anger I felt in myself let a few tears roll down my cheek. I felt rage in what was happening. I can't let them do this to me or my family. I have to do something.
"No. Let them go, trace this call. You can have me! Just leave my family alone." My voice raised and I didn't care who was staring at me. They had my family, and it's my fault. Then I slightly heard the man's voice in the background again. He said,
"Find the boy, we can't let him get away."
I felt a stream of hope energize into my body. Jonathan is OK, he got away, he's safe. For now.
"Listen to me," I said speaking to the strangers hoping to catch their attention, "take me, use me, do what you want with me, but don't you bother my family. If I'm that important to you, come find me, but don't go using my family like this." I said as I hung up. I had a new mindset made in my heart. I have to find Jonathan and I need to save my family.
October 26, 2010
October 27, 2010
October 28, 2010
3. Reason Why I'm Headed Back to North Carolina
I realized, I had to go back. I need to go back. My family needs me and is in danger because of me. Scientists crawling in their throats, they won't leave them alone unless---I give myself up. My family wouldn't understand, they'd tell me that everything would be all right and that I shouldn't have to do that. But the truth is, it won't be all right. Those scientists don't have what they want, so they go after what I love. I hate that. I won't let nothing hurt them, no matter what.
Jonathan's out there I realized. I need to find him, I need his help. But that's where my problem continues. I have no clue where he is, if he's really safe or not. Maybe he's coming up North to find me. Or maybe they caught him while he was trying to escape too. But no, I can't think that, because Jonathan is my brother, I know he's strong and can take care of himself well. I know he wouldn't have gotten caught that easily. But anyways, I hope I can find him, I just hope that we'll run into each other somehow, in any way. I just need to find him.
4. Reason Why I took a Midnight Train
They say that the day time is the safest time to get to where you need to if you are in danger of getting caught by people you don't want to get caught by. But for me, it's the opposite. At night, no one can see your true eyes, or your true skin color. Even the clothes you wear, to others it will just be a dark color that will possibly be unrecognizable in the daylight. So I took a train from New York down to Philly town, the Historic City. I remember, that place would be me and Jonathan's favorite place to visit for fourth of July. Charlotte didn't really care, as long as she was out of North Caroline, she was fine with it. I remember Jonathan and I would race each other from one historic landmark to the other, if it was close enough of course, and I remember he'd always win. I swore one day that I'd beat him, but that day hasn't come yet.
I awoke from my daydream and realized the cold sky above my head as I walked into the train station. It was empty, I couldn't see the stars like I could back home. I suddenly felt homesick, as if home is the only place I was meant to go to. I stepped through the doors and met a large space, saw bronze everywhere. It was beautiful. I slid my index finger across the floor feeling its smooth texture. I felt like an idiot, but I'd just never been in a place to elegant before. Even though it was 12:30 A.M., there were still a good handful of people in line to buy tickets.
As I took a sport behind the shortest line, I counted my money hoping it would be just enough. Suddenly, out of the corner of my left eye, I saw a man and he seemed to be look at me but I didn't want to look in his direction because it could've just been one of those awkward moments when you think someone's looking at you but they're really not. But I looked anyway, and he was smiling. It was sort of a creepy yet accomplished smile that said, you-have-nowhere-to-run-now. Then, I heard someone's thoughts. "Listening in Raye? Mind coming a little closer, Raye?" My eyes widened in terror. I made no sudden movements until he took the first step closer to me, then, I ran.
November 22, 2010
[To Be Continued...]
